How to Text a Girl Without It Being Awkward

Now that you have a girl's phone number, you might want to play things safe by texting her instead of calling right away. Text-messaging is an acceptable way to communicate simple messages and random, flirty thoughts without having the feeling of vulnerability that voice-on-voice conversations give you. There are, however, some things to keep in mind when it comes to texting a girl so that your text messages are not perceived as awkward. 

Instructions:

1. Choose your timing wisely. You do not want to text a girl five minutes after she gives you her number, or this will come across as overly eager. Unless the two of you established the need to text the same day regarding a homework assignment or work project you are doing together, wait at least one day before texting her to avoid any awkwardness.

2. Text her after work hours. Texting a girl in the middle of the day -- when you are supposed to be working or attending class -- makes it obvious that you are thinking about her. If you text her in the morning before work or school, this is even more awkward. The best option is to send a friendly text in the early evening. Additionally, avoid texting her late at night, because you don't yet know what her evening routine is or how early she goes to bed.

3. Have a cheery tone in your text message. Say something funny to make her laugh and smile. Keep it light, simple and friendly. Avoid getting overly personal in your text. Do not text her to confess that you had a dream about her, or that you miss her after not seeing her for 24 hours, as this may make her uncomfortable.

4. Do not become emoticon-happy. Too many smiley faces, frowns and other facial expressions can make it seem like you are trying hard to get her attention.

5. Avoid bombarding her with text messages. If you send a text, wait for her reply. If she doesn't respond, do not text her again asking for a follow-up, or wondering what happened to her. This looks needy and can become uncomfortable real quick.

6. Know when it is appropriate to pick up the phone and call her. If you made plans to get together but need to cancel them, you should not do so in a text message. Canceling plans is best done in a live conversation; it's a more thoughtful way of communicating. Also, if you have a lot of information to give her, do not put everything into a text message. Save the sharing for when you see her in person.

 

 

How to Stop Feeling Awkward Around Women - Use These Tricks Boost Your Confidence to the Next Level

Most men know that confidence is needed to attract women, but few can actually do it.
I admit, getting rejected can bust your morale, but only if you let t get to you. Being successful with women doesn't mean not feeling bad when you get rejected, but it helps if you can bounce back easily from a bad situation to your old, confident self. Here are some more confidence tips you can use to improve your game.

 

Stop Being Awkward in the Dating Scene - Three Tips 

1. "Plentiful Mindset"

To become super confident around women, you must always remember that there are more women in the world than men. This means you don't have to panic if the girl you want to date snubs you. Move away and approach as many women as you can. If this is the way you operate, girls will see you as a social animal who can charm women anywhere. This increases your social value and will lead to more dates in the future.

2. "Visualize"

Imagine yourself surrounded with women, in a place where you're the only guy that women want. Assuming that women are attracted to you will immediately bust the thought that women don't like you. Visualize the scene inside your head and then work to make that scene come true. Approach a group of girls and start connecting with them. Be bold and tease the girls inside the group.

3: "Limit Her Choices"

Another great way to overcome self confidence issues is to not give the woman in question the power to reject you. Going hand in hand with the first tip, you will find that if you do not come across as overly enthusiastic but just enough to engage in conversation, she will end up getting excited due to the anticipation in the air and you'll probably end up chasing you if you do things the right way.

Finally, use hypnosis, especially when all else has failed. Nonetheless, fractionation as it's known virtually guarantees you to succeed every single time with minimal effort. It is a very powerful technique - as it enables any man to make women fall in love in as little as 15 minutes.

But before you use this technique, you must heed this warning...
Fractionation is considered as a 'dark art' tactic which is the basis of hypnosis-based seduction, and while controversial, it is known to be one of the most effective tactics ever invented by underground seductionists. It is described in a step-by-step system in the Deadly Seduction Manuscript (http://www.DeadlySeduction.com).

These psychology tactics are highly unconventional techniques that are used by the secret elite in the seduction community. Use at your own risk. I personally vouch for the effectiveness of these tactics, but care must be taken as they could be outright dangerous in the hands of the unscrupulous.

 

How to Fill Awkward Silences

You are in a social situation, and you find yourself next to someone who you don't really know. Now what? You just need to try and find a way to open up the conversation a little bit.  

Steps

1. Find something non-threatening to comment upon. If you are having a meal together, say something about the food, for example. The weather is another good topic, the news, even better. If you're inexperienced in small talk, begin with something simple, such as "Did you see the Cubs game last night?" Do not try to attempt a complex sentiment, such as "What do you think should be done about Darfur?" until you are more experienced.
2. Say something along the lines of the above as soon as possible.
3. Listen carefully to what your acquaintance says back to you.
4. Reflect carefully and offer another comment.
5. Talk about your achievements! The other person will find this interesting because they can compare their own achievements against yours. For instance, if you own a large swimming pool, show them a photo. Don't be in a hurry to put the photo away. Give them lots of time to look at it and think about it. Alternatively, if you have recently gotten a raise at work, you can mention your new salary, and ask them about theirs. You can help get the conversation going by bringing up the same topic several times.
6. Try avoiding yes or no answers and asking questions with yes or no answers. Don't use conversation stoppers! Ex: "Yeah that was funny!" "Haha, yeah" <--- that is a conversation stopper and plan before hand if you feel you might be on the verge of saying that, say something else like "Remember the part where you had to use the bathroom but you couldn't find it?" And laugh!
7. Try to find some topics to bring up before you start talking. Think about recent events! Talk about some things that maybe you would like to do like joining a club or anything.
8. If you get a really bad awkward silence then check your phone. This gives you something to do, and maybe the other person will be interested.
9. Relax. The other person should be making a effort to join the conversation. They should say something in a awkward silence, its not just you pulling the ropes!
10. When answering a question, try doing it by asking another one in the same sentence.
11. Try to find an object to transfer the awkwardness to and make a funny or intriguing comment about it, for instance, "I heard these floorboards were originally part of (name a famous structure that has been destroyed). The owner of this building is quite eccentric, you know." [This only works if the owner of the building is dead or not present, but you get the idea.]
12. If you don't mind the person too much, find an activity that absolutely MUST be done RIGHT NOW, and with help. Check the crepes. If you're at a party, perhaps you can employ yourselves as coat checkers, and wind up married. Imagine the story! Of course, anything involving making cocktails is handy.
13. You can try the never ending joke: "Awkward Turtle!" If someone knows what it means (basically, just awkward moment), they'll laugh, and if not, you have something to talk about!
14. Similarly, you could talk about the alternative rock band "Awkward Silence." It's a way to change the subject, and casually note the awkwardness of the conversation.
15. Don't try to be funny just let your own personality flow because sometimes people sense when a host or person is trying too hard......

Tips

• Once the person lets something slip, you may be onto a real conversation. If you mentioned the pouring rain, and your new companion expressed worry about his dog getting sick in the cold wet weather, you have hit pay dirt. Now you can spend the rest of the evening talking about dogs.....and whatever topics that whole thing may lead to.
• Relax :) And just be yourself
• If you like dogs too, you may hit it off with this new friend. If not, try to find another topic buried in the words of the other person.
• Any time you just don't know what the person is talking about, just repeat his words slowly........"oh, your dog has coccidiosis........."
• Hopefully the person will now explain that Coccidia are single celled organisms that infect intestines. If not, just make a general comment showing that you need to be filled in. "Coccidiosis......I am not sure I have heard of that before."
• If you feel like there is a bit of awkwardness in the air, smile like you don't notice.
• Be super friendly and laugh a lot. (But don't overdo it...)
• Ask about the family, just remember to not let the subject slip into something more awkward (disease, old relationships, etc.)
  1. Don't get up and leave
  2. Don't be afraid of human contact, shaking hands might be germ-filled, but it won't kill you.
  3. When talking with someone you know, mention the awkward moment. Make a joke about it. (ex: "I think a tumbleweed blew by just now...")
• Find something to do with your hands, but be careful not to rely on it.
• If someone is a complete psychopath, or boring to the point of inducing mental illness, or (especially) is a cocky jerk, there is nothing wrong with the old, "Um, I have to go over here now."
• Sometimes it is a good idea to give said person a generous hug. It can break the ice.

Warnings

• Try not to appear nervous or uncomfortable.
• Don't try to fill in the silence with just anything. Never say, "soooooooo...".

 

Awkward is the new normal

"Awkward."
Have you heard this word before? Are you the one saying it or the one it's being said to? Do you even know what it means? What does it mean? When did it get so popular? Why do girls always seem to say this whenever anything randomly happens?
Like, when you parallel park your car and hit the curb, why is that awkward? Why did Sophia say that to me last week? I have no idea.
I google searched the terms "awkward" and "psychology" to maybe find a connection between the two, but the first result was one of my new favorite Web sites, awkwardfamilyphotos.com, with doozies like these:

You must check out the site for yourself to understand and experience the full gamut of awkwardness, whatever it might be. For me, I get a weird uncomfortable feeling that's suspended somewhere between confusion and disbelief, usually followed by mild-to-severe laughter. A "What the?" look if you may.


I don't even know if this is a positive or negative feeling.
For the most part, being socially awkward is a stigma. The media stereotype depicts it as someone who lacks self-confidences, reads a lot of manga and probably lives in a basement and/or is obsessed with staplers.

There are countless Web sites that offer guidance on how to deal with awkward behaviors. Recently, a Globe and Mail article cited a study that suggested that reading fiction can cure social awkwardness.
Researchers in Toronto found that readers of narrative fiction were more empathetic and had higher social acumen than those who read non-fiction. Follow-up research also suggested that people who read a New Yorker short story performed better on social reasoning tests than those who read an essay from the magazine.

"Those benefits, researchers say, may be because fiction acts as a type of simulator. Reading about make-believe people having make-believe adventures or whirlwind romances may actually help people navigate those trials in real life."

I started to wonder, is being awkward necessarily a bad thing? According to today's media, absolutely not. In fact, awkward (people) comedies are this past decade's fundamental source of humor. Think of the title characters in "The 40-Year-Old Virgin", "Zoolander"... basically any Ben Stiller movie.
The current poster boy for awkward moments is George Michael Bluth from my favorite expired show "Arrested Development." George Michael, played by the gifted Michael Cera, embodies the angsty, yet awkwardly adorable teenager who just so happens to fall in love with his cousin. (Don't worry, it's not incestuous, really)
Check out this clip for a sample:
 
Since his release from "Arrested Development", Cera has grown considerably in celebrity appeal. He starred in hits such as "Superbad", "Juno", "Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist" and "Youth in Revolt", as well as flops like "Year One", which I'll count as two movies, because it was truly awful, really. He was also half of the comedy duo that was "Clark & Michael", a CBS sponsored web series in which he played a struggling television show writer in Los Angeles.

What is interesting about all of Cera's roles, however, is that he's got a bit of Tom Cruise syndrome. No, he's not a Scientology (yet!)-- but he does seem to exhibit a one-note type of character in all of his films. Cera always plays awkward and adorkable George Michael Bluth, just as Cruise always plays charismatic and charming Tom Cruise man. I'm not trying to criticize anyone's acting skills, but rather, suggest that Cera's lack of "confidence" is precisely his cinematic charm.

Since the '80s, we have always loved the untraditional underdog-- remember Duckie from "Pretty in Pink" or Patrick Dempsey in "Loverboy" or "Can't Buy Me Love"?

Michael Cera is this generation's lovable misfit, but with an awkward twist. In the films from two decades ago, the nerds usually lusted after girls that were far beyond their reach. They would have to bribe girls to go out with them or succumb to being the dreaded "friend" and learn to live with it. Sure, sometimes true love would prevail in the end, after the girl "realized" just how "special" the nerd was after some brave or heroic declaration of love. Deeply formulaic, and deeply unrealistic.

Cera, on the other hand, gets girls for free. He bumbles around and acts nervous, but there is no wooing necessary. The girl already harbors a crush on him, and all he needs to do is just stand there and be awkward! No roses, no nice dinners, nothing.

In real life too, it seems, the awkward factor has a some appeal.  Perks include: you're never boring, you're never annoying, you're listened to, because people are typically curious about what you're going to say, and you can usually get away with anything because, "you know, you're just, like weird." Awkward is interesting in a good way: kind of like a harmless alien from Mars.

But why are we attracted to awkward behavior?
Awkwardness is simultaneously non-threatening and entertaining. The awkward guy will never hurt or try to cheat you. He's not smooth, he doesn't play games, he's even sincere. Awkward people are also generally unaware of their behavior, which makes the whole thing more amusing. They operate in a different universe than everyone else, with a different set of rules and logic. The awkward are foreign exchange students that look just like us.

Another thing to consider is that most of us exhibit moments of awkward behavior. Of course, we try really hard to mask it, to fit in, to be conformists. Still, when we see someone else behaving in a way that we sometimes do ourselves, we feel connected, safe, and a little relieved, because it turns out we're not the only freaks in town.

Sometimes, awkward moments don't have happy endings. Occasionally, when I meet new folks, I blurt out completely random or inappropriate things, thinking they are funny and adorable. In response, I usually get that slight head shake and a blank expression. Usually, an "ummm okay," will escape their vocal box, and they will undoubtedly dart their eyes back and forth searching for a way to terminate the conversation. Meanwhile, I rack my brain for more clever zingers to say, completely oblivious to what's really happening.

Then, once in a while, we meet people who just click with us. You know what I'm talking about. We laugh about the same things. We have the same reactions to certain things. We can predict each other's thoughts without uttering a word. We are awkward around each other, but we find it absolutely and perfectly normal.

 

Socially awkward moments happen to everyone; it's how you recover and move beyond such moments that makes the difference between wanting to sink into the floorboards or simply brushing it off as a passing glitch. Social awkwardness comes from a sense of not appearing "normal" or "socially clued in" under the glare of others. Partly generated by our own fears and worries of what others think of us, partly generated by social expectations and how we interpret these, social awkwardness can prevent us from fully interacting with others out of fear of being ridiculed or even ostracized by our peers.
If you're afraid of being caught in awkward situations or of coming across as socially awkward to others, there are some good reasons not to be. Everyone has to learn how to deal with social embarrassment at times and even if you're more socially awkward than the average person, there are tried and tested ways to overcome feeling socially awkward. Some of these ways are explored in this article.

Steps:

1. Realize that you're not alone. The reality is that most of us worry about exactly the same things when in public, especially about whether other people like us, whether we're making a good impression or whether others are bored by us. In fact, many of our worries probably cancel each other out given we're on similar wavelengths! At one time or other, most people experience moments of shyness, embarrassment at slips of the tongue, awkward bodily noises, messing up a conversation or struggling to connect with another person. However, if you're feeling like this all of the time, it could be because you're over-analyzing any social situation, which can make it seem much worse than it actually is.
   
   
2. Try to source your feelings of social awkwardness. For many people who experience intense social awkwardness, the feelings stem from anxiety, fear, insecurity or low self-confidence. Each of these sources can be tackled if you're willing to push your boundaries a little at a time and to find ways to build your confidence. But there may be other reasons for feeling self-conscious, such as having had a bad past experience, feeling that you're not with people who are enough like yourself or who understand you, being an introvert (which is different from feeling shy), feeling compelled to interact in situations because of work, peer or parental pressure, etc. that you would not ordinarily subject yourself to, or feeling confused about the motivations and actions of those around you. In each case, try to identify the root cause of what's making you feel awkward so that you can address it directly.
   • Being shy can really inhibit your social interactions. It is important to seek proven ways to overcome shyness, whether through your own learning or through getting help. See How to overcome shyness for more information and realize that shyness is perfectly treatable.
   • Being an introvert is considered to be different from being shy, although both traits can be found in the same person. Introverts prefer to shun the spotlight, to keep out of many social situations because they're draining and because the introvert is fulfilled through more internal interaction than an extrovert would enjoy. A shy person, on the other hand, wants to participate in many social events but is afraid of being embarrassed or left out.
   • Social anxiety is a severely limiting condition or anxiety-based disorder in which a person is not able to function in daily life, including at school, work or social events. A person suffering from social anxiety tends to keep close to family and trusted friends and avoid all public interpersonal relationships. Social anxiety stems from a constant fear that other people are scrutinizing the sufferer in order to humiliate or embarrass them. If you suffer from social anxiety, it is important to get proper professional help, as it's not likely that you'll be able to overcome this alone. As with shyness, social anxiety has an excellent prognosis for treatment.
3. Once you've identified the feelings that lead to awkwardness in social situations for you, start trying to acknowledge these feelings whenever they arise. By being more aware of your own bodily sensations when you're feeling awkward and anxious, you can consciously recognize that your adrenalin is flooding you and causing you to want to run or hide. When this happens, learn to tell yourself: "I am having an anxiety reaction, I am going to be okay. I will act calmly." The more self talk that recognizes the anxiety, the more you will start to get it under control.
   • Important! If you suffer from some form of social anxiety that is above and beyond the normal first time jitters almost everyone experiences, realize that your biological makeup has some influence in your over-reaction but also that you can learn to control this aspect. Do not put it down to your being a bad or unsociable person! While your anxiety is irrational, your bodily reactions are real and you must learn to separate the two when learning how to calm your anxiety, so that you don't blame yourself but do change the behavioral response.
4. Increase your confidence. Even if you don't feel confident, you can either fake it until it grows on you or you can remind yourself to be friendly as much as possible. It is definitely hard to find confidence in situations that bring up fears, anxiety, panic and a desire to hide or run away. However, asking yourself "what's the worst that could happen?" and trying to do at least one thing to engage with others around you is a good start.
   • Read How to build your self confidence for suggestions on improving your personal confidence. Don't rush it; building confidence takes times and involves backward steps as well as forward ones, as you find your own comfortable social niche. Take your time to grow into a more confident self.
   • Read How to calm your nerves. Dealing with your nerves around others is important because nervousness affects our demeanor (body language) and even if we don't open our mouths, other people can read "socially awkward" into our features. Since it can be hard work dealing with a perceived "socially awkward person", vibes to this effect may discourage many people from hanging around to find out. It's important not to misinterpret this as dislike; it's an equal sense of awkwardness on their behalf and one where you can learn to use body language skills to set people at ease. See also How to look approachable.
5. Be friendly. Assuming that someone else wants to connect with you and assuming the best about them from the start allows you to be more open and friendly toward other people. While it's true that no matter how friendly you are, some people will respond as if their mouth and mind are perpetually soured, this isn't a reason to scuttle off or blame yourself. By being friendly you will put others at ease, find ways to break the ice and give others less friendly the freedom to be more open and vulnerable around you. If you're not used to being friendly, try it. It will grow on you as you realize that it's a lot easier than maintaining a wary, cautious and non-trusting front all the time.
   
   
   
   • A friendly demeanor can help to put others at ease in your presence. Smile, make eye contact without staring, appear relaxed and use open gestures (for example, keep your arms unfolded rather than crossed).
   • When meeting someone for the first time, be friendly and rely on asking open-ended questions. Avoid asking anything too personal to avoid appearing nosy or having them be nosy back.
   • Being friendly doesn't mean being gullible. Maintain your sense of awareness about people who display worrying behavior, such as aggression, lewdness or bullying and look after yourself above all.
6. Be less concerned about what other people think of you. Most people are worrying what others think of them, which is something worth reminding yourself when you start to worry about what other people think of you. Moreover, some people will be nasty, petty and sarcastic as a matter of fact, regardless of who you are or your achievements; for such people, such negative behavior is often a defense mechanism they use to get over their own feelings of insecurity, awkwardness and discomfort. As such, it's not actually personally directed at you but is an outward sign of inward turmoil. Don't take it to heart; do continue to share the best of yourself without worrying what others think.
   • Realize that many people are as nervous as you are; some have simply learned better ways at covering this up. (Which means you can too!)
   • Some people have negative thoughts about other people as a means for never having to question their own shortcomings. You will never change the way this kind of person thinks; instead, realize that they're too hooked on blaming others to see how their negative comments probably reveal most about their own weaknesses.
7. Lighten up. Random unpleasant and downright embarrassing things happen. In our imperfect world, the odds of some things making us look or feel foolish are just as much in existence as those things we choose to see as showing ourselves in a more dignified, graceful or appropriate light. Often we don't have control over awkward situations, such as the long silent gap in a conversation that just goes on interminably, the inelegant and noisy passing of wind when we least expect it and the trip over the edge of the rug as we walk up to accept an award from our peers. These things happen but they are not a reason to find ourselves wanting. They are a reason to accept your humanness and the fact that life is random and at times imperfect. To deal with this fact, lighten up and see the funnier side of awkward moments. Not only will doing so help you to place such occurrences into better perspective but humor will often break tension among all present, allowing people to laugh with you, not at you, and to pass the awkward moment without further ado.
   • Laughing at your own behavior when something daft happens shows people that the situation isn't really that serious and taps into common consciousness. And look at people who really know how to make fun of the shortcomings in life, namely comedians. The likes of Rowan Atkinson, Charlie Chaplin and your favorite local comedian will help you to realize that feeling awkward can be turned into an amusing asset.
8. Focus on the positives. While socially awkward moments can tend to make us focus on everything that is going wrong at that time, it is helpful to deliberately make yourself focus on the positives. What is good about things around you right now, even though you might be wanting the ground to swallow you up? Pinpointing some positives can help restore your perspective about how minimal the awkward occurrence is in the greater scheme of things.
   • For example: Jenny has just tripped over a carpet edging the dance floor after finishing her dance with Brad. She falls flat on her face. Jenny could decide to burst into tears at the imperfect end to a perfect dance. Instead, she realizes that the carpet edge was impossible to see and that she has at least made it obvious to everyone else to be careful. Moreover, she has just finished a wonderful dance with Brad and he is already kneeling by her side offering to help her stand up. She accepts his hand graciously (he is such a gentleman!), she beams a big smile at the worried on-lookers and says with a wry look, "Wow, that's some trippy finale to an amazing dance––watch the floor folks!" Everyone else breathes a sigh of relief because they didn't know whether to laugh or look away, and she has just let them choose the tension-relieving option. Jenny realizes it'll all be forgotten within five minutes and gets on with her night. (After note: Brad is so smitten by Jenny's graceful attitude in the face of adversity that he realizes he wants to spend his whole life with this resilient person and proposes to her the next day.)
9. Use self talk to move through feeling socially awkward. Self talk will help you to shift the focus from worrying about what others are thinking of you and back onto calming yourself so that you can project a sense of ease with yourself. Some of the things that can be helpful in overcoming moments of social anxiety include:
   
   
   
   • My anxiety is distorting my thinking.
   • I am paying too much attention to my bad feelings in my body.
   • It's only my anxiety chemicals making me feel this way; the reality is that everything is fine.
   • I can get on top of my anxiety.
   • Positive words can help a great deal too. Say positive things to yourself such as: "I'm fine" "People are nice and I'm having fun being around them", "People seem to like what I am saying or doing", "I am here to enjoy myself".
10. Learn to relax. Relaxation is not a one-off; it's a lifelong practice. As such, learning to relax should begin at home, where you're most comfortable. Practice deep (diaphragmatic) breathing to overcome moments of anxiety, do relaxing exercises, stretches and even daily meditation to strengthen your ability to tap into a relaxed state whenever it's needed. Then start taking your relaxation knowledge and applying it to your public life as well. In particular, breathing deeply and slowly can help to keep you calm whenever you feel assaulted by too much social input and anxiety. Being mindful about situations will eventually help you to feel more socially at ease.
    • Read How to do awareness meditation and How to meditate for more ideas.
11. Give yourself recovery space. Not all socially awkward situations will be resolved with a laugh and some deep breathing. There may be times when the embarrassment, pain or fraught emotions are just too much to deal with in the public sphere and for your own sake and possibly that of others, it is best to simply exit. By giving yourself space to recover, you can cool down and get over being flooded by anxiety.
    • Try very hard to stop yourself from simply running off in tears or yelling. Apologize quickly and say that you need a moment/need the bathroom/need fresh air, etc. and leave at an even, normal pace. If you can, it is also a good idea to say that you will return shortly to finish any incomplete conversation or discussion.
    • If the socially awkward moment has involved getting into a heated argument, it is perfectly acceptable to break it off and say that you're going off to cool down briefly. Promise the person that you will resume an amicable discussion when you feel less charged up. This is not cowardly; indeed, it takes great courage to recognize when you need to back out temporarily and gather your thoughts and rein in your anger or anxiety.
    • It can take a good hour to calm down after being flooded with anxiety. Take your time. If this means that an event will be over before you feel better, have a friend send a message along to apologize on your behalf for not returning.
12. Be kind to yourself. Being socially awkward is not a state of being, it's a temporary phase. You will move through any particular incident and you will experience many more positive experiences in its place. Everyone stuffs up now and then and everyone has at least one mortifying experience they can recount. It's a sign of self-respect and self kindness that you can look back on such occasions with a wry smile and realize that it didn't break you but is now a rather entertaining dinner table tale. Be careful not to heighten the relevance of one bad occasion and apply it to your general impression of social interactions; focus as much as possible on all of the social interactions that you have enjoyed, that have worked out just fine, no matter how bland or ordinary. And as part of being kind to yourself, realize that socializing involves learning skills; don't be hard on yourself if for any reason you missed learning those skills somewhere along the line. They can be learned at any time in life, provided you're willing to give them a go:
    • Small talk – this is the oil of conversation and if you don't get any deeper than this with most people you meet, that's fine because it is often all anyone expects.
    • Conversation – finding topics for conversation can be as simple as listing some good ones, storing them in your head and drawing on them when needed. If you're stumped for conversation topics, this simple act can save you a lot of angst.
    • Jokes – telling a joke at the wrong time can blow your "social cred" right out of the water and leave you looking awkward. Yet, telling one at just the right time, with just the right tone can smooth over even the most tense moment.
    • Compliments – keep them sincere and drop them at the right moments. If you're not genuine, don't compliment. If you don't know whether or not the moment is right, let it be. However, if you're a beginner in complimenting, do watch others for timing of compliments and follow suit.
13. Get out there. Staying at home, behind your computer screen, hidden behind your cubicle barrier or dodging lunch dates won't help you to avoid socially awkward moments. Instead, you'll be building up for one because you're allowing yourself to be perpetually out of practice socially. Rather than hiding, be bold and get out and socialize more often. You don't have to be the talk of the town but at least start going to engagements that interest you and having short but interesting conversations with people you like being around. Start off with people you trust and like and slowly expand your socializing to include people you're less familiar with.
    • Socialize in small doses. Socializing is not a marathon, competition or exam. It's about connecting, enjoying and living to the full. If you only ever like a little socializing, that's just fine, just so long as you do socialize a little.
    • Realize that some people are snobby or standoffish. They are not the norm, nor do they represent a reason for hiding away. For such people, learn a simple way of detaching yourself with dignity, such as a quick nod and an "it was nice to meet you" before swiftly turning your back on them. Do not let such encounters ruin all of your social experience––there is always someone worth meeting socially.
    • Learn how to end a conversation as well as how to have one. For many people, it is ending a conversation that is going nowhere or that is excruciatingly boring that leaves a sense of awkwardness, out of fear of appearing rude or uncaring.